At various points in my life I aspired to be Richard Wright, Ernest Hemingway, Greil Marcus, Frances Ford Coppola, August Wilson and a few other powerhouse creators whose work I admired. At a certain point you realize that emulation only gets you so far and you have figure out who you are.
Part of that process was defining success for myself. Okay an Nobel Prize or Academy Award is not likely at this point. But I did win a Grammy for liner notes, which was very cool, and I got nominated for some literary awards. All good. But I don’t believe awards equal real personal success. They are arbitrary, annual signifiers of good work that are awarded every year. Someone’s gonna win it. Creating to get an award (Oscar, Grammy, Tony, Pulitzer) is like surfing to get a suntan. Yeah it could happen, but it would be a by-product of hard work and focus. The work is the work and the ocean is the ocean. Diving into either is the only satisfaction guaranteed.
Instead of these distant rewards I believe we must define own success via internal goals. It can be finishing a project early. It can be writing two songs in the time you expected to do compose one. It’s creating a list of obtainable goals, so you have a sense of progress and momentum. I always felt people I met who had grandiose goals lived in a state of perpetual frustration. Basing your success solely on public acclaim puts your happiness in the hands of others. Not a sustainable lifestyle. It’s so important to be, as your yoga teacher would preach, present in the moment. Letting a sense of dissatisfaction creep into your creative life will poison your personality and relationships.
I’ve had far too many conversations with working actors who whine about their managers or agents, as if they were the biggest roadblocks to the actor’s stardom. Yes, everybody wants the hot shot manager or agent who can push them to glory. That’s the dream. The reality is that you have a manager or agent, which puts you about 100% ahead of the many who don’t. If that relationship isn’t working the way you want either have a meeting to air your beef or just fire them. Making them the subject of your ire gives them all the agency in your life. You’ve got to take more responsibility for what does and does not happen in your career.
Maybe cause I’m a bit of a workaholic whenever I’ve been pissed off at my representation for some roadblock, real or imagined. I sat my butt down and started writing. I make a goal. I reach it. I make another. I go for that. I call these little victories. On the darkest days when checks are slow and support absent accumulating little victories can be life savers. It sounds simple. Perhaps it’s too simple an answer to a complex life question. But everyone I’ve come in contact with whose had a long career keeps their head down, does the work, and their time comes around. In this marathon of life you should praise yourself for every quarter mile reached, knowing that’s the only way to go the distance.